We all have someone who as well-meaning as they say they are trying to be, they can come across as rather judgemental.
The fact that we are judging them on being judgemental is a whole nother issues.
Needless to say, if a mamma is caught up in a constant stream of judgemental well-meaning advice, she can start to lose her mommy mojo. Her confidence.
There’s always stories about the good old Mother in Law who’s been there and done that and knows way better than you do.
Or, my fav, the ‘friend’ who thinks she knows it all but hasn’t walked in your shoes.
Maybe you have a relative that is constantly talking about how they do things and compare them to how you do them?
How does that make you feel?
The answer to that question depends on how strong your emotional foundations are.
If you are confident in who you are as a mamma, and you embrace the advice of others, your are more likely to be thinking “ok, well, that may work for them but I know what works for me and mine”.
If not, then you will go with their advice and when it doesn’t work for you, you end up feeling guilty or feeling like a failure.
If you are starting to feel like a failure compared to others, or by the standards of others, then the first place you may want to improve on is your own emotional foundations.
Awhile ago, when I was first looking into becoming a coach, I shared my dream with a family member. Her reaction stunned me. She told me that I wouldn’t make a good coach. I was like, wtf? At the time my emotional foundations were at a pretty low point. Think broken down old shack made of rusty old tin. I knew she was saying it because she didn’t want me to have a go then fail and feel bad for failing. It still hurt like a mofo though. I ended up looking into other avenues but I knew deep down that coaching was my calling and mamma’s were who I wanted to serve.
A few months ago, I spent time with this relative and this time she partially mocked what I was doing.
This time I was able to say “Well, it’s who I am and I’m good at it”.
When I got home, I still questioned myself and my choice, but I was able to brush it off knowing her heart was in the right place and I forgot about it.
So when your being judged, reach down deep inside yourself and ask “Is this my truth or theirs?”
9 times out of 10 it will be theirs and you will be able to invest less emotion into their opinions or advice or straight out nastiness.
Use those judgements to fuel your fire to prove how frigging awesome you are no matter what they say.
Bit by bit, as you let go of the need to be what others think you should be, you will find out who you are and be that instead.
I may not be the best coach around, but for my clients, and my potential clients, I am becoming the best I can be.
And that’s good enough for me!